New direction in my life...

For those of you who haven't heard or maybe those who actually want to know more about why I left my job at Christ's Church, I will give a little rundown. That sentence actually sounds kind of weird that anyone would even use this kind of forum to share this or that I actually think someone would care to know.

I left the job I have long thought of as my dream job on April 7th, '09.
This whole idea transpired over about a 3 day span and I can't actually say what exactly push me past the point of even giving the idea any real thought.

In part, I can think of 3 things that have really weighed on me recently. One is my friend Eric who had his dad (also a very good friend of mine) diagnosed with cancer and go from "fine" to near death in a matter of days. I struggled between wanting to go hang out with them but I also didn't want to interfere in what could be their last days together. Sadly enough, I also had struggles with having other responsibilities (work...) that I allowed to get in the way of where my real ministry should have been taking place. Not the jobs fault, but my own for allowing it to get to that point. I am thrilled to say that Eric and his dad Mike have had more days together than they ever thought while Mike was laying in that hospital bed. I shed tears after I hugged Mike when I saw him at our Easter services just a few days ago.

Secondly, would be a relative of mine who has fallen into some trouble. I know that I had years to step up and talk to him about the path he was on and I was too busy. Too wrapped up in myself. My own little all-important world. I owe him a serious apology regardless if even one word would have made the slightest difference.

Third was my home life. I have been such a pathetic example of a husband and a father. I have carried guilt around for the last few years over how poorly I did my real job; the one away from the office.
I have long had the Holy Spirit pointing to a verse that I continually dodged. The verse talks about those who are leaders/workers/preachers, etc. in the church. It says in 1 Tim. 3;4-5 He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him. For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church? I don't belong working in God's house right now and I know that I might never reach that point. Before I think selfishly about my own personal wants, I can honestly say for the 1st time in recent memory, I can't because of what those wants have taken from my family in the past.

I have a wife who has taken leftovers for the duration of our marriage. The YMCA, UNF and ministry may have look like the culprits from the outside but that couldn't be further from the truth. It was me. It was 10 years ago just as it was 3 weeks ago.

This has nothing to do with the church. This isn't a church change. It's a job change. A life change.

I hope my wife and family are ready for this. :-)

The LeSage Family photo...

I am sorry, but I just had to share this photo with you all. I don't want to get so wrapped up in other things I write about that I fail to share with you my love of my family.
I have noticed a problem that I must get a better handle on and it may be one some of you can relate to.
The challanges of being in ministry are similar to my prior profession as a basketball coach. Coach Joe Pichardo of Bishop Kenny told me one day that it was important that I marry a woman who was capable of being a "coaches wife." As a 25-year-old that didn't really mean a bunch to me at the time. A coaches wife would have to accept that her husband who have late nights watching game film, travel to scout upcoming teams, staying after games to talk to coaches, parents, players and know that their husband might also be a little more stressed out on occasion.
Though I am not officially a "minister," my wife also has similar challenges to the basketball coaches' wife. She has to deal with having to share her holidays with the church and me taking phone calls from people who I feel might need to talk to me. She has to deal with countless people knowing who she is though she has never seen or met them. She has to deal with waking up Sunday morning and getting three kids under 7-years-old ready for church by herself. And of course because my ministry happens when people are off of work, that means I am gone when she is off work and home with the kids.
I am so thankful that she supports what I do while keeping me accountable to my God-given responsibility to her and my kids. Too many times, I take for granted that she should accept whatever I happen to be doing because "it's ministry." Yes, too often I overlook the ministry that I have to lead that is positioned right under my own roof. (Thank you my love for being the helper God has called you to be.)

How about you? Sacrifice diner with family regularly because of work? Because of sports? Because the neighbor has a '57 Chevy he needs rebuilt?